Failing Into God's Love!

 

When we believe and receive God’s love in that very place that we have failed, faith is born. Love is born. Worship rises like incense. Our hearts are softened with the oil of his Spirit and worship pours fourth like a clear, pure stream of love. “All of my fountains are in you Oh Lord.”

Have you ever felt that your heart had grown cold towards God, or perhaps your heart has never known the joy of overflowing worship? One reason for coldness of heart towards God is that we think highly of ourselves and secretly feel that God owes us in some way. Another reason for lack of warmth towards God is that we have forgotten how much we have been forgiven.  He who is forgiven much loves much. Jesus reminded us before his death to continually remember what he did for us on the cross. 

God desires that all of our self-confidence, which is nothing more than deception-because the truth is that we have nothing in ourselves- will die on the cross with Christ. Before Peter betrayed Christ, he proudly declared his absolute commitment to Jesus.  Lord, I would die for you!  Peter did not know himself as Jesus knew him. More significantly, Peter had not begun to imagine the depths of the Father’s love for him-even in his sin. With a tone of love and sadness I would imagine, Jesus looked into Peter’s eyes and cut his heart open with the knife of his mouth: “Peter, by the time the cock crows you will have denied me three times. But I have prayed for you, that your faith would not fail.” Oh, how I love Jesus! He is so precious. What love is this?

 Peter was about to be whittled down to nothing, “sifted” as Jesus said, for he was about to be confronted with the full reality of his own need of a Savior. Peter was about to be broken by how deeply God loved him despite his unfaithfulness. If he could believe on Christ’s sacrifice for his sin and unfaithfulness, he would emerge with a broken and contrite heart, and a revelation of the limitless love of the Father in Christ Jesus.

Peter was confident in his own strength. He would do anything for Jesus. He forsook all to follow Jesus. What else was there to do? This is who Peter believed that he was before that awful night that he betrayed his Lord and closest friend. And Peter believed that Jesus loved that Peter, the good, devoted Peter.  Peter was a faithful disciple. Unto the death. And he loved Jesus with everything in him, but the human heart is deep and cavernous. Apart from God no one can know it, not even ourselves.

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The day was upon them. Darkness fell and Peter became afraid. The crowds were full of hate and murderous rage. Fists beat against the air as the angry mob cried out, crucify Him! crucify Him! Peter shuddered with terror. He had been ready to fight for Jesus, not suffer persecution with him.  In the next moment a girl was thrusting her long pointy finger at him, accusing him of being one of Jesus’s disciples. Instinctively, Peter protested. No, no, I don’t know that man. I swear! It was the third time he vehemently denied Christ before men. Just then, the cock crowed in the distance and Jesus looked straight at him. Can you imagine the agony in that moment? 

While we see this as an awful failure, it is actually the rich soil from rich springs life eternal. Pete came face to face with himself-and the mercy of the Father.

As Jesus was being whipped, spat upon, insulted, and mocked for Peter’s salvation, Peter was denying him. As Jesus labored under the weight of his blood stained cross, Peter was cursing and warming himself by the fire. While Jesus was being mocked and tortured for him, Peter was abandoning him. This is true for all of us. We are all Peter, and God has loved us with a passionate love that knows no bounds, and now Peter knew it. He saw himself clearly. He was not the faithful disciple that he believed himself to be. He was a betrayer. He was unfaithful. His fear was greater than his love.

He had to see it, because it was the truth. Peter had believed a lie.

This is a holy place. Do you know this depth of brokenness? Only failure and weakness can bring us to the place where we see the tender love of our shepherd laying his life down for us, but how our pride resists seeing it! Wigglesworth said, "God can only use our helplessness." Another saint said, "Jesus is for the sinner, and the sinner is for Jesus." This is the only place to meet our Savior, at the cross. We bring Him our sin, and He pours merciful love upon our open wounds. The cross is the meeting place.   From here we will follow Him to the ends of the earth, feeding his lambs the bread of his blood poured out for our sins, cleansing and healing us.

Have you been there? Have you declared your love and intention to be faithful to God only to turn around and confront your own unrighteousness? The Lord is praying for you.  He is praying that you would look into His eyes. As your gaze hesitates to meet His, you look up to see the gentlest yet most powerful love you have ever known. And in that place, as the woman caught in adultery raised her eyes to that glorious face, you will truly experience His love for you and know that it covers and washes you both now and forever. He is your rest. And you will worship and follow Him all the days of your life, leaning on your Beloved, trusting in His righteousness alone. You will rest deeply in His love and grant it easily to others who fail so miserably. Mercy can only flow once we have received of it deeply.

This cross shatters all self-confidence and hidden pride. Draw near to this place the moment that you become conscious of sin, weakness, and failure. Now you are taking up the rough cross upon your own shoulders, for it is yours. Now it is no longer just a mental idea or scripture that you have recited in church. Now it has broken your heart, and in the breaking, you are made whole.

Jesus wanted Peter to place ALL of his faith in Jesus to be saved, and zero faith in himself-because we just can't do it. It's the truth, and we desperately need to know it! We cannot go 50/50 when it comes to righteousness, or even 90/20, or 99/1. All of the glory belongs to God and apart from Him we have no goodness or merit. Before the cross, Peter trusted in his own righteousness. He did not see the stain and depth of his own righteousness, nor the absolute sufficiency of Christ. But he was about to learn.

Our flesh pulls away from this cross as Peter did before Jesus died. No, I love you Lord, I won’t fall away or fail you! Yes, Peter, yes you will fail me.   But I have prayed for you, that your faith would not fail you. Peter, I am praying that you will take up this cross, this very cross and follow me. I am praying that you will accept the awful depth of your sinful nature and your human weakness. Will you take this cross? Will you see the truth of who you really are Peter? And when you come face to face with your true nature, in this awful place, will you believe that I love you, that I died for you, that I alone can make you totally new?

When you have come to trust fully in my love alone then you will be able to nurture and nourish my lambs. Feed my sheep the good news of my love, my sacrifice, my gift of righteousness. The poor in spirit are waiting. Those who mourn their sin must be comforted. Those who hunger for righteousness must be filled! Those who have betrayed me and believe that there is no way back must hear the news and be fed. These ones are most blessed. These ones will believe on Me. This should encourage our hearts! Peter was qualified by his lack, not his personal abundance.

I hope that this will cause us to embrace our cross. For our flesh wants to deny it. Our self-confidence/human pride (I “should” be better), draws back from that rugged cross.  We draw back in many ways. We are inclined to explain, justify, and compare ourselves with others. God does not want us to draw near to Him apart from the cross of Christ. We try to draw near on our own merits, but God cannot receive us in that place. And our love will be cold if we cannot meet Him at the place of our sin- and His grace. Then, and only then, can God gift us with His life, His nature, His faith, His love.

 I live, yet not I, but Christ lives in me by faith. This is the cross and it is beautiful.

Perhaps one of the most beautiful exchanges in the gospel when Jesus asks Peter, after his betrayal, “Peter do you love me?” Knowing that he had just betrayed him, Peter says yes Lord, you know I love you.” Wow!  I believe that during this encounter with Jesus, Peter embraced that cross that Jesus had just died upon.  He saw his sin, but most importantly, Peter saw His Savior. Peter emerged from the trial with a pure faith in Christ alone, and it was most holy. Jesus could have prayed that Peter wouldn’t fall, but the fall was necessary. This can be hard for us to understand. We can be like the Jews in Paul’s day who said he was preaching that it is good to sin so God’s grace can abound, but that attitude reveals that we are yet unbroken. For we need this grace, we just don’t see it. God wanted Peter to see the sin that was already there-and so he let him fall.

Imagine how his love for the Lord expanded in light of this new relationship with Jesus, one based on God’s grace with no help from little old Peter?  Peter betrayed his friend while he was being tortured and murdered. And Jesus loved him. Peter cursed him, and Jesus loved him.  When we believe and receive God’s love in that very place that we have failed, faith is born. Love is born. Worship rises like incense. Our hearts are softened with the oil of his Spirit and worship pours fourth like a clear, pure stream of love. “All of my fountains are in you Oh Lord.”

And we are to always remember it, to never forget it. Jesus said, “As often as you meet, do this is remembrance of me.” Sunday we had communion together.  I was blessed as the Holy Spirit helped me to see my sin, and His mercy, yet again. In front of the whole church, looking like a fool, I could do nothing but heave sobs into the carpet. I was totally unaware of what I may have looked like as his waves and breakers washed over me again. I left church with a lightness of being and a joy that always follows such times with Him. 

But it is the Holy Spirit who must refresh this truth.  How wonderful that the Spirit is here to help us! And from this place of rest in His grace we grow into His image. Without faith we are moving from self even as Peter leaned on his good intentions before the cross. After the cross he leaned on the power of the cross. What a salvation we have been given! This is not a religious system of man, comprised of self- will, self- effort, and (hidden) pride. 

I hope that this is good news for you. Oh, what happy news came to me when I learned of the cross and came to know the gift of God more fully.  And we will be growing in grace until we get to heaven! So take up your cross. Believe on His gift of grace. Receive it every day. God will not permit any flesh to boast before Him, for that would be utter deception! The Galatians are our example and warning, who began in the Spirit by faith only to digress to the flesh and self-efforts. I take great comfort in knowing that the Holy Spirit keeps those who trust in Him. He is our keeper!